Monday, 14 April 2014

Perspectives from a Bitter Twisted Spinster

I am many things in life – bright, fun, intelligent, empathetic, blond, hardworking, a property owner, blessed with great friends and a will to travel.  However, none of these facets of my personality seem to count when I reveal that I am also single.  “Single?” enquired a Yummy Mummy Wanna-be in a voice which suggested that I was inappropriate with woodland creatures ……  “aah so you are a bitter twisted spinster”. 

One of my aforementioned friends removed me before I could tackle her so no violence was perpetrated but wow!  Really, what gave this women [a complete unknown] the right to say this to me?  And the judgement goes on.  One of my friends fathers commented that I was “reaching that age when a women needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” and I have lost count of the number of people who have said [with their head sympathetically tilted] “don’t worry I’m sure you will find someone”.

Do I need to be defined by the fact that I don’t have a man in my life?  I have dated and I like men but I have made the choice to find someone who adds something to my life other than dirty washing, a mouth to feed and size 10 shoes.  Looking at my friends and my family, I want that type of love that sees my mom after 45 years still refer to my father as her prince.  In short, I’m picky and single and happy!

So what about children?  Personally while I don’t mind children, I don’t necessarily want any so this is less of an issue for me and something that everyone needs to decide on their own.  What I do know is that those people who are truly happy in their relationships seem to see children as an expression of this love – something that I would imagine would be hard to do for the long term if you did not have this feeling to start with.

So next time you speak to one of your friends who is single, realise that they may be single for a wide variety of reasons.  We singletons don’t need your pity or your patronising comments – we need the same thing that we will give to you – love, support and a sense of humour as we all try to make sense of this grand comedy that is known as life.

Lxx


P.S. – Don’t forget to follow me @littleofwhathyou

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